By Martha Nyakueth
![A girl standing in one of the cattle camps in South Sudan's Jonglei state [Photo by John Burnett for NPR]](https://i0.wp.com/www.sudanspost.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/ssudan_cattle1_wide-9ea54b71a489ef3a5e61faf6064b240526edb205.jpg?ssl=1)
As I reflect back,
My father told me to find my greatness in books. But I think he forgot that he and mom gave it to me long before then. But not everyone is lucky enough to get such a pair for parents or whatsoever! Each morning I wake up, I fear for my daughters and my nieces. I fear when I imagine being a mother to a child that has so much to offer but being defined backward right before birth!
When will a girl child’s life be beyond marriage? When will she be considered a human that can’t be defined by the skirt and the natural cut between her legs? When? Even social media has validated the madness this society is trying to hide and now, it’s a matter of changing your status and boom! You will realize the world is not at rest at all! Few seconds down the line and you will see ….the ” finally….., you made it.…., well-done” …etc.
Is marriage an achievement?
What about those who married and got divorced?
How about those who got killed by their spouses? Here marriage actually turns to disappointment and death appointment.
In my opinion, getting married to another does not make you any more or less important to your friends, family, or society than you were as a single woman. Contrary to what people think, marriage does not elevate your status in society.
Your status is reflected by the contribution you make towards the society, irrespective of who you chose to marry and when. Being married to someone should not define a woman or a man. Don’t quote me wrong, am not against marriage or whichever forms they come.
However, as a human being, you are much more. You are the Character you are playing in darkness, You are all the degrees that you studied hard for, all the examinations you failed, all the nights you prepared. You are the knowledge you have and the value you bring to the table – you are not just another son-in-law or daughter-in-law to another family.
Regardless of gender, every child is born pure, full of raw potentials that only need to be nourished by the elders not to be killed before they even germinate!
The world has changed. the marathon is no longer of the same theme and neither does being married validate a girl child’s worth! We are the product of that same crushed, blended apple and lemon which at least got us this cocktail called modern life. Not bad though it depends on which side you are standing because some see it as waste generations and others call them millennials of change!
So how about we teach our daughters that marriage isn’t something that should validate them! How about we replace certain teachings to girl children such as be a good “wife material” with being a responsible member of a society and a contributing factor to humanity rather than being defined by her skirt?
Society knows much and maybe I should listen for now.
The author is a concerned South Sudanese citizen. Get more from her blog: Palsmartha98.blogspot.com.
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